This tutorial really hit me; after observing a sales person (a technician) and his customer (the end-user) talking thru each other! Not with an intention to “talk thru each other”, yet with that result coming rather quickly in the ‘conversation’. He assumed she wanted the lowest price, so he quoted that price after no objection to the stated “normal” price. She remained silent (while filtering the normal price), and waited for the “deal of the day”, that she was sure to get; so she then agreed to the lower price (obviously). This exchange happened so quickly, that it “hit me” about 6 or 7 minutes later. What really happened was not just two parties being assumptive, and a real failure to communicate; it was ultimately a tragic failure to serve the needs of this particular customer. The end-user got what she needed (at least for the moment) … and, the technician got the dollars he needed (satisfying his ‘sales’ objective) … yet, was the customer or the Company served? Further … did the customer and the Company lose something more than the difference between the “normal’ and the ‘deal of the day’ price?
I think that unless there is a genuine conversation between the customer and the sales person … both parties lose more than they will gain. The customer loses the chance to elaborate and expand upon what she really needs to be happy, safe, secure, and whatever else is important to her. The sales person loses the chance to build loyalty, trust, and maybe the long term allegiance of that customer to him and his Company. Yet, all of that notwithstanding … it is so easy to “rush” to the lowest price, and to assume that what drives every customer is the need “to get the lowest price”.
Have you ever bought something of real value to you; and you know that you didn’t buy it from the lowest seller? Why did you do that? Why do we do that? I think because you weren’t buying just that item … you were also “buying” the feeling, maybe the security, or safety, or something else. Not just the product … you were buying the service provided by that sales professional. I think true “service” is defined as the trust between buyer and seller; that intangible feeling for which you and I are willing to pay. And … if I’m serving you; I have to listen. Really listen, with the intent to understand exactly what’s important to you and you alone! While I’m listening, I can’t be thinking of what commissions I’ll earn, or what I’ll say in reply while you’re speaking. I have to listen, with an empathetic ear, an ear that hears through your filters. What’s important to you (the customer, or end-user) … is now important to me (the sales person, or technician). “I need to walk a mile in your shoes … yet take off my shoes first!” And … I need to talk and speak in your native tongue, not speaking with “techno tongue”, or in-house product speak.
“ Providing service without empathetic listening, is like riding a train without boarding!” You may arrive at your destination … while the customer is still back at the station.
So … how do you get there from here? Practice listening with empathy. Listen with the intent to understand, not with the intent to reply (from Stephen Covey’s book: “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”: Habit #5 … Seek first to understand, then to be understood). Practice with your spouse or your Mom or Dad; when they ask: “How was your day?”, try answering: “First tell me about your day … I’d like to hear about your challenges today and how you resolved them”. Then (after they get over the shock of you “genuinely” paying attention to them) they begin to tell you all about their day. You may lean in just slightly, and say a few meaningful words to demonstrate that you are really listening. Words or phrases like: “Really, and what happened next?”, or, “is there anything you wish you had done differently?”, or, “tell me more” … etc! In my experience, this empathetic listening really works. It gets you closer to whatever the customer really wants. It begins to build trust between you and your audience (be it your customer or your spouse or your mom). And … the closer you are to what they want (be it security, safety, or to be happy), the closer you are to being hard to replace. The closer you are to being the one they call for more than just “the products” you sell. They will ask for your advice on competitor’s products. They will ask for your expertise on running a business like theirs. They may ask for you to stand up at their wedding, or to be the executor of their will. This type of loyalty and trust is not very hard to acquire; once you become skilled at providing service thru empathetic listening.
If you’re reading this today, right now … decide to serve and listen from this moment forward. it will require some easy ”experiments” that you can set in place today (with your spouse or mom … etc). It will also require your desire to listen differently than you have ever listened before! Then, and only then, will you draw closer to really serving the customer. Listening is indeed the key … now you must persuade yourself to master this reality, and begin serving!